
A work in continual progress for me since my teens:
- I more often ‘do the right thing’ by others not because I ‘should’ or because it’s my duty or due to how I could be seen, but because it matches my own values and makes me feel good to live as a person I would like and trust.
- I more often listen with curiosity, not because that makes me ‘appear’ polite and makes people like me, but because I feel genuine interest in other people and value their personal experiences.
- I feel freer to express my deeper feelings and thoughts just because they’re important to me, independent of other people’s opinions of what I express, or beliefs about what’s ‘normal’ to express.
- I care less about ‘normal’, and more about what works.
- I speak about myself with efforts at kindness towards others because kindness and respect are also important to me, and my judgements of others seem mostly useful for informing me of my own needs only.
- I give much more acceptance and encouragement to other people doing the same, as I feel less attachment to how people ‘should’ appear, and more respect for the spectrum of how people are underneath the images hiding that.
- I feel freer to claim my wrongdoings because I feel genuine care for my own impact on people and intuitively want to address conflict to keep us connected.
- I feel more confident to do ‘weird’ things in my own way… Like display my always imperfect mind in a hobby blog just because I enjoy creating and exploring…
More reading on intrinsic motivation:
- Healthline, Intrinsic Motivation (easy read, includes sources to check reliability. Source of definition in image)
- Very Well Mind, Intrinsic Motivation (easy read, includes sources to check reliability)
- Science Direct, Intrinsic Motivation (more academic, reliable reading. Source of definition in image)
I think I used to feel more pressure to do the things I “ought” to do…. Now, I ask myself how close does doing it get me to my ultimate goal. If it dLes, then it’s a win-win, but if it doesn’t, then I can barely get it done…. Life is too short to spend it on stuff that is not personally rewarding. Thanks for sharing your brain embryos.
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