Are judgement, criticism, shame and blame actually the most effective reactions for compelling long-term, intrinsically-motivated behavioural change?
I will explore this question with a diagrammatic argument:
So, in the ‘Living Lists’ section of my blog I will be counter-intuitively and counter-culturally exploring my own learnings about the culturally perceived ‘negative’ processes I’ve noticed in myself in an attempt to normalise them a bit. The ‘living list’ aspect just means I will be adding to my reflections as I notice or remember them because that’s how self-awareness and self-reflection work- they’re ongoing processes that need time and observation to develop the understanding.
Owing to these time-dependent processes, it’s an unreasonable expectation that any person can instantaneously and immediately change patterns of behaviour which are motivated by complex emotional and mental processes. It’s something I’ve personally come to validate, but also feel some exasperation when I see other people repeatedly, naively, futilely expecting instantaneous change of others or themselves. So I am attempting to honour and embody this recognition in the way I write.
The conclusion for this rationale of my ‘living lists’, in part 3, will be a self-testimonial about the utility of this unusual strategy. Coming soon…