This section of my blog will be dedicated to regularly updated lists with self-reflections on instances of some of my own emotional, thought and behavioural experiences.
Amongst my focuses will be:
A bit odd? Precisely.
Why??? From my observation, these emotional, thought and behavioural experiences are normal, frequent human responses for everyone.
Not you, you say? That’s definitely a possibility. Or possibly your perceptions of these experiences are different to mine. The only logical way to test and verify that would be to browse what I conceive of as these experiences.
I’ve personally come to view these emotions and thoughts as useful and informative internally, but only when we can have a comprehensive awareness of them…
Conversely, these normal emotional and thought processes so often translate to habits that don’t work for individuals themselves, and very definitely cause issues between people from the micro-scale of individual relationships to the macro-scale of society. Therefore, they’re reasonably perceived and reacted to with judgement, criticism, shame and blame both by us ourselves and by other people. These four reactions seem to act as a team of quadruplets, attempting to provoke social conformity in behavioural habits.
Rightly so, you might say? They’re habits that cause damage and need to be eradicated. They’re worthy of those reactions. Unleash Team Social Conformity!
Sure. These habits I’m exploring can cause damage. Sure, the impulses for judgement, criticism, shame and blame are understandable reflexive reactions. Most definitely, it’s my belief – I’m absolutely, passionately, irrevocably convinced- that where possible humans seem to work better for themselves and for others when they can become aware of these habits and learn different patterns.
But hang on… Whilst judgement, criticism, shame and blame are understandable reactions, an equally important, but mostly neglected consideration is, are they always functionally helpful reactions? What’s the effective impact, the real influence of the judgemental, critical, shaming and blaming reactions on sustainably changing these habits?
Sure, in a court of law, for example, judgement, criticism, shame and blame are the aims. The judicial system is just the manifestation of the most expedient strategies westernised human ideas have developed, so far, for attempting to control others’ negatively impactful behaviour. Most expedient. Easiest. Ubiquitously relied upon, normalised and therefore unquestioned that there could be alternative approaches.